


Empty Space

by running_downn



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, I suck at tags, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Canon, Sammy Needs a Hug, Unhappy Ending, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, kingfallsam, like a literal angst fest, like damn let the man sleep, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23101705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/running_downn/pseuds/running_downn
Summary: Sammy sat up with a sudden urgency, hastily looking around the room before forcing his gaze on the space beside him. For a split second he could see Jack right where he was supposed to be - home, asleep, with him. But all that sat there was a pillow, bunched up in an indication that Sammy held it tightly as he slept that would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so fucking pathetic. The tear stains only made it worse.aka it's been days since Jack disappeared, Sammy struggles to cope.I added some fluff to compensate for the amount of angst I poured into this thing and I apologize in advance.
Relationships: Sammy Stevens/Jack Wright
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Empty Space

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It's been a while since I posted something, school is killing me and applying to college just to take a ccp course is more terrifying than I thought it was gonna be. Anyways, I recently got overly obsessed with Kingfalls AM, and if you haven't listened to it PLEASE DO. First off so this fic doesn't spoil it, and it's just a damn good podcast. Also shoutout to the discord server for the many Sammy and Jack headcanons, as well as for putting up with me lmao  
> Hope you enjoy this absolute angst fest, funny how I write angst better when I'm in a good mood.

The man looking back in the mirror was one that Sammy couldn’t seem to recognize. The bags under his eyes were a genuine grey that stood out even behind his glasses - which he hadn’t worn in quite a while as even the act of putting contacts in was proving to be too exhausting. His hair was a birds nest, and not in the cute way Jack always said it was. The hair tie was barely holding it all together as large sections of his hair fell over his face and the entire bottom half of the bun had fallen out. When did he take a shower last? 

Sammy’s phone buzzed on the counter beside him and a flurry of hope filled his chest as he grabbed it. He nearly dropped it as he fumbled with it, squinting at the screen. 

Just another email. 

Emails were overly tedious, he never liked them, let alone sending them. They were always work related or forced him to worry about being too formal or too casual. Jack used them to send him recordings that were too long to send over text, recordings of the paranormal “evidence” that consumed him. Sammy opened his phone and turned notifications off for his email before making his way to the kitchen. 

He’d made coffee, something he didn’t even like all that much but was the only thing keeping him from falling over at this point. He knew he needed to sleep, he knew being on the verge of passing out was more concerning than he was letting himself believe. Even Lily had texted him a couple times, despite how mad she was or had been at him, telling him to sleep. She knew him way too well. Sammy knew part of her blamed him for Jack, blamed him for losing the other, yet through all the hate of their relationship and the blame she put on him, she cared about him. She cared about them both.

The coffee maker clicked softly, a loud sound in the quiet space that was losing the feeling of being home with every passing day without Jack. Sammy grabbed two mugs from a shelf above the counter and put them next to the coffee maker, pulling the pot out and pouring himself a cup. He moved to fill the other before a twinge in his heart caused him to freeze. The man could feel his eyes begin to sting which he quickly attempted to prevent by pressing his free hand over them. He placed the coffee pot down with the other hand, shaking more than he cared to admit as he gritted his teeth in attempt to pull himself together. 

It was surprising that he still had the energy to cry or that his tear ducts hadn’t completely drained themselves. 

Sammy took a breath, opened his eyes, and grabbed his mug without giving the other one a second thought. He couldn’t let himself break down again, he was exhausted from doing so for however many days it had been. He wasn’t even keeping track anymore, how could he?

He made his way over to the couch, placing the coffee on the side table and turning on the TV. 

“...further investigation into the disappearance of-”

He immediately turned it off. 

There was far from any escape of reality at this point, the event still relatively new which meant every news source in the area was covering it. But they didn’t know him the way Sammy knew him, the way Lily knew him. They hear a story and they pick it up, desperate for attention in their covering of an event that left Sammy in a state he didn’t even know was possible. They pretended to care while Sammy was barely able to get out of bed.

A sudden anger filled his chest, his fists clenching in his lap against sweatpants he had been wearing for way too long. He thought back to try and remember if he’d changed his clothes since it happened. He knew he hadn’t showered and didn’t even know what day it was, so the likelihood that he had worn anything aside from the old pair of sweatpants and Jacks hoodie (which was beginning to lose its smell) was low. 

The sound of his phone ringing jerked him out of his thoughts. He shoved down the hope that he got every time the damn thing made a sound and he checked the caller ID. Sammy sighed at the name. He could ignore it like he was with the texts, but the realization that she probably thought he was gone too was enough of a reason to make him answer the phone. Lily didn’t deserve that. 

He answered. 

“Sammy Stevens I swear to god, if you keep ignoring me I’m coming over and I’m gonna-” Lily’s voice blared through the phone. “Fuck, Stevens, just… don’t ignore me. Not now.”

“Sorry.” Sammy’s voice came out worse than he expected, a scratched sound that hurt to force. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually spoke to someone. 

“Jesus, you sound like hell.”

“Thanks,” the man deadpanned. 

Lily groaned in annoyance. “When was the last time you got any sleep? Or ate, or talked to someone, or did fucking anything?” Silence. “Stevens-”

“I haven’t,” Sammy snapped. “I haven’t done shit, okay?” Suddenly, the words were spilling from his mouth. “I can’t do anything other than go through my fucking texts, my computer, the journals he hid under the bed, everything. I can’t, I can’t do anything except obsess over-” He managed to catch himself as he realized Lily didn’t know the half of it, she didn’t know how the research turned to obsession and consumed him until it took him away. “Every time I close my eyes, I see his fucking car in the parking lot, doors wide open, his bag just sitting there,” Sammy muttered, eyes filling with tears once again. 

“You don’t think I do the same?” Lily scoffed. “You don’t think I’m hurting just as much as you are? You don’t think that I haven’t been scouring through every damn thing I have just to find a hint of where he could be?”

“Lily-”

“No, Stevens, you don’t get to tell me how hard it is for you and act like you’re the only one in any pain here. I lost him too, in case you’ve forgotten that.” Her voice was rising and causing the anger in Sammy’s chest to do the same. The trouble was finding out whether it was directed more at Lily, or himself. 

“If you’re going to call me, fine. But don’t you dare criticize how I’m handling losing my  _ fiance _ -”

“And he’s my  _ brother _ , Stevens-” her words were muffled by a growing ringing in his ears.

“Don’t you fucking dare act like I don’t know that it’s my own damn fault that he’s gone! That I didn’t pay enough attention, that I didn’t try harder, that I didn’t do something more to keep him here!” That answered that question. “I know you blame me for it, I know how much you hated us, god knows I do. But I’m sure that even you can cut me some fucking slack here and not remind me that I was the one that lost Jack!” 

The silence that ensued was heart wrenching, Lily’s thoughts her own as Sammy hung up before she could respond. He threw the device at the wall and fell back on the couch with tears falling faster than he could attempt to stop them. It was no use trying to do so.

Sammy looked to the window through blurred vision, light barely seeping through the curtains as he realized it was probably getting late. That, or it was morning like he’d originally thought. No matter what it was, he’d made the coffee in vain as he no longer had any intent on drinking it. He couldn’t avoid sleep anymore, and the thought of potentially dreaming about Jack was enough to get him off the couch and into his bedroom. Sammy stepped over objects scattered on the mess of a floor, paying not mind to it let alone have any intention to pick anything up before completely collapsing on his bed. 

He hadn’t laid in the bed since it happened, knowing that the second his head hit the pillow he’d fall asleep and miss any call from Jack that might come. Yet the desire to ignore reality for as long as his body would let him was growing too tempting for him to dismiss, and he couldn’t do Jack any good if he didn’t have any energy to do so. The second Sammy accepted sleep, his body released all tension and he lost consciousness. 

~

_ “Your hair’s getting longer.”  _

_ Sammy felt a hand run through his hair as he let out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I need to get it cut soon, even Lily’s noticed.”  _

_ “No, no, I like it,” Jack smiled. He looked around the kitchen and found a hair tie sitting on the counter, Lily having left it last time she was over. “Here, turn around.” _

_ “What are you-” _

_ “Turn around!”  _

_ Sammy let out another string of laughs as he did as Jack told him. The shorter gathered as much hair as he could, gently pulling it back and attempting to mimic how he’d seen Lily tie her own hair up. It was messy, that’s for sure, but Jack was proud of his work.  _

_ Sammy turned back around and eyed his boyfriend with a warm gaze, slightly embarrassed in feeling as if he looked like a complete idiot. Jack didn’t give him any indication that he did, if anything the blush that rushed over his face and made his ears go red was a sign of the exact opposite.  _

_ “So,” Sammy grinned, leaning slightly closer. “Should I grow it out a bit?” _

_ “Hm… I’d say so.” Jack planted a quick kiss on the others lips before making his way to the coffee machine. He grabbed his mug and filled it to the brim, sipping it carefully and sighing at the warmth of it.  _

_ “I still don’t understand how you can drink straight, black coffee,” Sammy leaned against the refrigerator.  _

_ Jack’s face flushed once more as he scrunched his nose at the comment, causing his glasses to shift. “And I don’t understand how you drink those grass smoothies every day.” _

_ “Hey, it’s not grass, it’s power food. We’ve been over this.” _

_ “Ah, right, power food.” A pause. “So, grass.”  _

_ Sammy rolled his eyes at the banter without an ounce of real annoyance.  _

_ “Y’know, with the long hair, flannels, and ‘power food’ smoothies, I’d say you’re fit to becoming a real hippie,” Jack smirked behind the mug as he brought it back up to his lips.  _

_ Sammy feigned offense as he placed a hand over his chest, “a hippie? Low blow! At least I’m not a conspiracy theorist.” _

_ “Ha, ha,” the other let out in sarcastic playfulness, “one of these days my ‘theories’ will be proven true and you’d better be there for me to tell you I told you so.” _

_ “Oh yeah, that’s totally gonna happen. And when we’re old I’ll be looking as young as ever and you’ll say, ‘why Sammy, I wish I drank your amazing smoothies to look as young and beautiful as you!’”  _

_ Jack nearly choked on his coffee at the remark, his face bright as ever and laughs echoing through the room - which began to fade and morph as it dragged Sammy into a new space.  _

_ He laid in bed, moonlight peering through the curtains as a breeze crept through the opened window. Sammy turned on his side and came to face a sleeping face before him. Jack was sprawled across the majority of the bed, always having taken up space when they slept. However, Sammy didn’t mind it in the slightest, as it usually resulted in the man being draped over him and head resting on his chest; which was pretty much the exact position they were in.  _

_ Sammy moved carefully to wrap an arm around Jack’s waist, resting his chin on top of the shorter’s head. Jack wasn’t that much shorter than the other, only a few inches at the most, but it was enough for Sammy to encase him in a gentle (yet protective) grip as they slept.  _

_ Despite his caution, Sammy apparently wasn’t quiet enough, as Jack let out a light groan and shifted under the others arm.  _

_ “Sorry,” Sammy whispered through a light smile. “Didn’t mean to wake you.” _

_ “‘S okay,” Jack muttered, pressing his face against his boyfriends chest. “Why’re you still up?” _

_ “Just thinking, couldn’t fall asleep.”  _

_ “What about?” _

_ “Hm?” _

_ “What’re you thinking about?” _

_ Sammy opened his mouth to respond but couldn’t get anything out, his voice refused to say anything and his brain completely blanked. Why was he awake, what was he thinking about? “I, uh, huh… I don’t know.” _

_ Jack chuckled softly, “you don’t know? Get some rest, you’ve been overworking yourself again.” _

_ “I have?” Suddenly any memory of what had happened that day was gone, along with the day before that and the day before that one. But it wasn’t unlikely that he was, as much as he preached self care, he usually got stuck in a cycle of overworking himself and losing track of any healthy habit he was trying to build. _

_ “Are you okay?” Jack peeked up and rubbed his eyes. _

_ “Yeah, yeah just tired,” Sammy smiled gently before placing a careful kiss on the others forehead. “And I’m pretty sure I was just thinking about how much I love you, that tends to keep me up quite a lot.” _

_ “You’re insufferable,” Jack sighed, looking back down and settling back into his previous position.  _

_ “You love me.” _

_ “Yeah,” his lips smiled against Sammy’s bare chest, “I do. More than you’ll ever know.” _

~

Sammy woke, refusing to open his eyes as sunlight barely crept into his room. He was laying on his stomach and his arm was stretched out, resting over a figure beside him. 

“Morning,” he mumbled and took in a tired breath. Silence filled the air. Sammy’s brows furrowed at the lack of response, Jack usually being the “early bird catches the worm type” and sitting in bed for at least half an hour before Sammy woke up. He tightened his fist slightly and realized the only thing in his hand was the feeling of fabric with no solid figure beneath it.

“Jack?” Memories began to rush through his head as he attempted to shove them back down, wishing they weren’t real. They couldn’t be real. “Jack.” 

Sammy sat up with a sudden urgency, hastily looking around the room before forcing his gaze on the space beside him. For a split second he could see Jack right where he was supposed to be - home, asleep, with him. But all that sat there was a pillow, bunched up in an indication that Sammy held it tightly as he slept that would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so fucking pathetic. The tear stains only made it worse. 

Despite that, he couldn’t stop more tears that were threatening to fall. He was so tired yet his body didn’t seem to care anymore. Sammy pulled his knees to his chest and ran his hands through his hair. His stupid, bird nest hair. 

“It’s fine,” he whispered to himself, choking through sobs that caught in his throat. “Jack is gonna walk in, he’s gonna come back. He’s just in the kitchen making his stupid, black coffee, and he-”

He couldn’t finish the comfort he was attempting to give himself, the knowledge that Jack was truly gone seeping through his thoughts. He grabbed the pillow, clinging to it and burying his face in the fabric. Jack was oddly specific about the pillow he used, needing it to be a certain way because of the neck cramps he got if the pillow was too soft. 

Sammy shoved the memory down and only clutched the pillow tighter, finally letting out a sob that he’d been holding back for too long. He sat in bed, ignoring the rest of the world as he let himself cry until finally laying back down, tears stinging his eyes and continuing the spill even after he fell asleep. 

All that remained was a tired man in a bed, alone - a man wrapped around a pillow that wasn’t too soft.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hopefully that wasn't too much, and I really hope I wrote them in character that's always one of the most terrifying things for me when writing a fic. Either way thanks again, comments and constructive criticism are welcomed with open arms, and I hope you have a great day/night!


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